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A new issue
every other Friday


by Faye Orlove

I resolve to stop feeling personally offended that Zayn left One Direction.

I resolve to stop saying "Bitch Better Have My Money" because it's not sociologically relevant to my lifestyle.

I resolve to stop romanticizing fame and pain.

I resolve to start romanticizing softness and sensitivity.

I resolve to actually eat more vegetables and not just buy them and let them go bad.

I resolve to answer my phone more.

I resolve to stop speculating who every Justin Bieber song is about (Kourtney tho?).

I resolve to stop spiraling into a depressive state every time I read a Shailene Woodley interview about how she's "not a feminist" because she "doesn't want to be labeled."

I resolve to vote for Bernie Sanders because the system is broken but I don't know how else to fix it.

I resolve to see the 2016 X-men movie and give the new Storm a chance.

I resolve not to spend $80 on this BB-8 toy.

I resolve to be kinder and to work harder and see a chiropractor regularly.

I resolve to stop feeling slighted when my friends don't appreciate me and instead make more efforts to show how much I appreciate them.

I resolve to dance more because I think that's healthy.

I resolve to take my contacts out at night and not leave them in until my eyes get red.

I resolve to spend less money on Simpsons Lego sets.

I resolve to stop allowing men opportunities to speak for women, straight people to speak for queers, cis people to speak for trans ones. I resolve to shut down conversations that make assumptions, conversations that silence voices that are never heard. I resolve to talk less.

I resolve to have better posture.

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